Caught by the torrent of life

Fate / Faith - Torrent of death and life

It's one of those posts you think over and over what to write... What to think about...

I think i'll just cut to the chase...
This week one of my uncles passed away. He went to see that great entity, the apache Great Manitou, the muslim Allah, the Christian GOD, or whatever you call IT... after all, be you a faithfull or an atheist, there's gotta be something you believe in...

My uncle was nearly 58. It started about a week ago.

On a Thursday evening. I was talking to my mother over the phone. The next day I was supposed to have my final exam before my University Diploma. That means my faculty years are 99% over... My mother was supposed to come over (my parents live in another city) to do some cooking for me, and some of the things parents do sometimes for their children (yes, I get along very well with mine...).

She told me she was bringing someone else over... I was curious... It was my father... He wanted to congratulate me personally for almost finishing my studies... but there was a catch.

My uncle (my father's older brother) had been in the hospital for about 2 weeks, and was supposed to have an operation, on the coming Saturday. That was the real reason for my father coming over... after all, in about a week's time I was supposed to go home and we could have had the celebration then.......

My parents arrived on Friday. We had a couple of drinks that evening, and we were so happy...
The next day my father went to visit his brother. He had already had the operation...

On Sunday, my parents were to go home. They decided to pay another visit to my uncle, because of something my mother said. We heard that the doctors "opened" my uncle and just "closed" him back... My mother said she wanted to see her brother-in-law now that she had the opportunity... I don't know what happened inside the hospital. I waited outside, with my parents luggage. I'm not very fond of hospitals. Haven't been in one for some time and hope to keep it that way.
One of my cousins came to see her father. She talked to me a bit. She was quite grim...What can you say to your cousin when her father is in the hospital? I tried to avoid the subject as much as I could. After all, when someone is in the hospital, what can you talk about? Do you start imagining death? Do you start praying to whatever entity you belive in? Do you keep hope alive? There's a lot of Faith you must have. The diagnosis was very disturbing. What can you do or say as a doctor? What can you say when you know a person WILL die? Who do you tell?
Every time I tried to change the subject (while talking to my cousin - the oldest of my uncle's daughters - that's four of them), there was unavoidibly (does that word even exist) silence.... and medical stuff came up again; hardly suppressed tears as well.

When my parents returned, we got on the Underground train. My mother is a retired hospital assistant. While in the hospital, she talked to some nurses. I felt in her voice that my uncle wasn't supposed to live much longer. 3-4 months at most, she said.... I took it as 3-4 days at most. I don't know why... but that's how I felt.

Monday went ok. For me. On Tuesday morning I had some business at the police station, but finally arrived at my office; there was an offline message from another cousin (on my mother's side). I buzzed her and the conversation went something like this:

HER: Is it true what I've heard about your uncle?
HER: Was he that sick?

You can see the lines one after the other. I didn't... I saw the first one, and thought she was asking me about my uncle being in the hospital. So I said Yes....
Then I saw the second line. Past tense? Why the past tense? She typed something...

HER: I'm very sorry for that

What does she mean by that??? A thousand thoughts rushed into my head, a rush of heat went through my body. I was sitting, but nevertheless I felt my legs soften...

ME: Wait, what do you mean? What did you hear?
HER: Don't you know anything? Haven't you talked to your parents?
ME: What should I know? Should I know anything special?
HER: Oh, God, I shouldn't have talked to you...
ME: I understand... Let me just be sure...

And I called my parents' home. My mother should have been at work, so I supposed I could get my father on the phone... Indeed, he was at home. He had quite a faint voice. We talked about my business at the police station. And then I asked what he was doing. He said he was going to get his parents and come to Bucharest. I just told him I understand... and the conversation was over.

At that point it seemed quite clear to me that my uncle had died. I didn't know how to feel, what to feel, what to think. It was out of the blue. On no occasion had I or my family heard that my uncle was sick, or had any minor sores or aches. He used to drink, not that much, but combined with not eating that much either, proved fatal.

METASTASIS

Book word. Reality? His liver, his pancreas, even his heart and kidneys had cancer. I hate that word. Another of my uncles had died from leukemia, which is cancer, too...

There's nothing more to tell. My uncle didn't last 3-4 months, not even 3-4 days, but ONE. The burrial was on Thursday. Many of his relatives attended, and so did most of his colleagues....

It's a good thing to see that one man can touch so many souls...
But what about FATE?
How long can you hold on to FAITH when you see and hear 70 year old parents at thir son's burrial?
Why do families reunite only when death occurs? Are we living in such a world that keeps us so far apart?

Requiescat In Pace...